...sin had made a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. That beautiful song has been on my heart since Friday. It is one of my favorites because of the truth that it holds. I do not have to worry that I am not the perfect daughter, sister, wife, or soon to be mother. Yes, I strive to be the best person I can be and to honor God; however, I am human and will fall short. God sent His son for me to this Earth as a little baby, knowing full well He would end up dying on the cross for my sins. It doesn't matter how many times I hear it, I still can not fathem it all. God loves us that much. That much is so much more than we can ever give or receive here on Earth. I love the service brother Bill preached yesterday. I am so thankful that we have a leader that does not preach just the "fluff" of Christianity, but also the side that many preachers these days avoid. Yesterday he reminded us of Christ's brutal cruxifixion that was spoke of in Isaiah 53. Not a pretty scripture, but so much truth in that even then it was known that Jesus would not be esteemed. As a Christian, though, it is our job to value Him number one in our life. I have been praying about this over the last few months. Before I got married, I worked hard at making God my priority. I prayed for months before our vows that I would not put my husband before Him because I knew how easily that could happen. Since February, I have found myself preparing and praying that I wouldn't put this child before God either. I can see how easily that can happen. Thank you Bill for preaching something that all of us needed to hear.
This Easter weekend I found myself missing lost family members as I usually do around the holidays. Easter it really hits home for me, though, because the year we lost Steve was right before Easter. Easter has always been my favorite time to get together. All the fellowship and outside fun in the beautiful weather brightens my spirits, and of course the reason we celebrate
even more so. Easter 2007 just was not the same. Uncle Steve was a big part of my life. He had the patience that sometimes my dad lacked, but together the two of them were a great pair for teaching us kids how to shoot at cans, fish, water ski, play catch, do fireworks, and of course spoil us every Wednesday night at Larry's Mexican restaurant while mother was at choir practice or Bunco. Elizabeth and I were blessed to grow up living very close to our family, and Steve was just such a joy. My last really great memory of him is from our wedding. During big events my dad and Steve usually weren't the center of attention (I am sure in their younger years that is a different story!). I made my dad do the father-daughter dance and I don't think he was too fond of that. Shortly after, Steve came over and gave me a big hug and told me how much as a father he loved that. Even though Dad might not have shown it, Steve said it is probably one of his proudest moments. Mother told me that Steve and Melinda both helped and cleaned up the reception and that she was so thankful for them. Steve was always willing to lend a helping hand or a crying shoulder. Heaven gained a wonderful man when he passed, and how I long to see him again someday.
The next January we lost Grandpa. That was just as tough, no matter how "prepared" we were. Easter was grandpa's favorite holidday, too. I could tell in his eyes how much he cherished each of us coming over after church in our Easter dresses that they bought us. They hid eggs everywhere for us and he got a kick out of us trying so hard to find them. He loved his children very much, but he really had a lot of pride and joy for his grandchildren. I loved hearing his stories of how he grew up on a farm and now living on a farm, I relish those stories. He loved CR very much and was so happy when we got married. CR even asked for his permission before he proposed. I am sure that made him feel just as special as he made us feel. He lived a wonderful and full life; we just miss him and I can not wait to sit on his lap again for story time.
We had to stay home this Easter, so I was of course a little homesick. When I heard that it was just going to be us and Granny and Dat's it made it harder ... part of Easter for me is having too many people in one house and too much food to cover the table. As sad as I was, yesterday was such a blessing. Granny and Dat enjoyed all of my Easter tradition that I brought to their table and sitting to hear their stories is just as refreshing as hearing them from my grandparents. It was low key, but that is sometimes just what we need - to bring us back to our truth and roots. Easter isn't about the people and the food or egg hunts - it is about Jesus not being in the borrowed tomb just like He promised. And if he kept that promise, how reassuring it is to know and believe that He keeps all of His promises.
Dixie is the dog that CR is "just training". She is a black lab and tons of fun. She thinks she can play fetch with Koda, but everytime she gets whooped.
Proud Koda!
Many times in my life I have heard the sweet, soft wisper of the Holy Spirit gently saying, "Be still my child. Be still and know." I heard this throughout high school when I couldn't wait to go to college, I heard it in college when I couldn't wait to finally be finished, I heard it as I was frantically looking for a teaching job, as we tried to get pregnant, and now as we pursue building a house. You would think I would learn to be still! I always thought that I had patience and then life, real life happens and I notice I do not. When will I learn to sit back and let God do it in His timing? It is going to happen that way anyways, so why do I fret about it. I shouldn't give a fig or a fiddle! I write this as I sit here 4 month pregnant with a child we prayed for 2 years to get. Thank you Jesus. This week we should break ground on Thursday as long as the lawyers get their act together.
Front porch swing view.
View from the side.
He is standing and welcoming from the "front door".
The above pictures are where are house will one day be. We started the process with the bank in January and have been getting such a run around. We got a call from them today (on a Sunday!) that everything was ready to sign, we have to wait 3 days (some law) and then we could start. Yee-haw. 
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will leave. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matt. 17:20
Still debating on the not finding out desire. I really and truly want to be surprised at the hospital, but at the same time I am starting to want to know. CR is dying to know so that doesn't help me at all. When it comes to it, I guess we will decide then. 
On a sad note, yesterday we had to say goodbye to someone who was a big part of CR and I's relationship. When I met CR, I met Buddy. He was a wonderful dog. He did everything to please CR and eventually me. He wouldn't hurt a flea, but I believe if we were ever in a compromising situation that he would come through and save my life. About a month and a half ago he started getting very stiff. We thought it was his arthritis since he had been in the house so much and we had such a long winter (for South Texas). It never got better, so we took him to the vet and he had some type of infection. They gave him medicine, but by then it was too late. He wouldn't eat, take the medicine or do much. He just wanted to be loved on. We knew he days we coming to an end, so we let him in the house (not usual) everyday and let him be wherever he wanted. These last 2 weeks were really tough on the both of us just watching him suffer, so I picked up my big girl panties and took him to the vet yesterday to have him put down. He knew it was time. I could see it in his eyes. Buddy the wonder dog did many things in his almost 11 years of life: trained to be a drug dog, ran as a drug dog for a little bit, moved to the farm and ran around with pigs, cows, and recently a horse, lived in College Station with a Rock of a room mate, then made it back to the farm where he was part of our family for the last 3 1/2 years. Last summer and fall he even did the early marathon training runs with me. He was in the best shape of his life last year! Koda has been looking around for him and is so confused. She lost her best friend, too. Those who do not own dogs do not understand it, but dogs are a special part of their owner's life. They are true and loyal companions and the sentiment goes deep down for both parties. 
