This past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life so far. And believe me when I say I have been through some hard weeks. When Kyleigh moved in with us at the end of August I thought to myself, "what in the world did I get us into?" However, because Kyleigh is the special girl she is it worked. CR and I were in no way prepared for what that 4 year old ... now 5 ... could teach us. After a week or so of struggling with it, Kyleigh and I fell into a great routine of morning "it's a new day" dances, surprise breakfasts, school time, chore time, play time, nap time, adventure on the farm time, prayer time and bed time. We learned to work together on everything and that when we got into a huffy to talk it out and work it out like adults instead of being pouty about it. We grew together as not only aunt and niece but as best friends. She introduced me to Hannah Montana and her crew; I introduced her to Tom and Jerry. She now prefers T and J over HM. CR and I made sure she got to church every opportunity possible, which began to hold us accountable :). I began to see the simple things in life down here on the farm because Kyleigh took the time to be adventurous through it all. Things that I would walk by before, we had to stop and investigate. What are those white puffy things on the leaves? I thought they were hundreds of cocoons and it turns out we discovered a fungus on a tree. She helped me enjoy riding on a tractor. Whatever we could we turned in to a learning experience ... teachable moments are so much fun. Through teaching her "home school" if that is what you want to call it, she taught me to be a more patient, thorough teacher. I can not wait to try out what this 4 year old taught me on high schoolers (or wherever the Lord leads me) next year.
Kyleigh and Elizabeth are back in Montgomery now though. When CR and I first returned home to Bishop without her I thought, "hmmm ... peacefully quiet". Now I think, "hmmm ... sadly too quiet". Elizabeth is uncertain of her plans. She is trying too hard to run and control her life instead of letting God lead her. She is figting Him. If she could just surrender her heart to Him again she would find how much easier it is. What is hard right now is that Dad feels that the best place for Kyleigh right now is with momma and him in Montgomery; until Elizabeth settles down or even longer. They are more stable financially than CR and I, CR and I are settling in down here and I am searching for a job so Dad feels that she would be in the way. Are you kidding me? The way that she is in is by bringing more joy to our lives. We have a lot of JOY, but when Kyleigh is around, it is even more joyful! The hardest part of all of this is when she calls to talk to me everyday, she asks me/tells me that she wants to live with us. She tells people that she wishes I were her mommy. I do not want that because that is Elizabeth's job and Elizabeth does love her so much. What is important right now and what we need to remember in this all is what is best for this precious gift from God. Where does she feel stable, secure and loved?
My request for each of you is to keep this in your prayers. Pray that Kyleigh will be covered in a blanket of LOVE so that in the future she can still look back and say, "atleast I was loved!" I know that when we bring it to God, He will either complete it or He will terminate it. Pray that CR and I will know the right thing to do, the right way to approach it, and that we will not loose sight of the things above.
"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me." Psalm 138:8
No comments:
Post a Comment